I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
