dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
soo... how was my night?
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