I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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