ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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