Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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