OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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