Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
