Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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