I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't deserve a penis
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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