You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we're so committed to being not committed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize