Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
