you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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