grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
