I want to make a zoo with you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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