PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
