Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
