I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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