woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
