VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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