So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
