we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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