Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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