Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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