at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
