im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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