Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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