you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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