she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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