The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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