i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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