she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
