hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nicole vs. Life
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
