Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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