I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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