I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
