I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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