Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
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It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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