He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
