Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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