I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
