He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
that is very illegal...i love you.
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