I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
