Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
