Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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