thus making me awesome and them whores
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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