Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
