I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
