I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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