just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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