Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
