Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ

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(503): jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ http://tfl.nu/lpdd

Replies (44) Good night (709) Bad night (5552)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"

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(337): All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!" http://tfl.nu/qrwa

Replies (44) Good night (8332) Bad night (1471)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up

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(410): Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up http://tfl.nu/yev0

Replies (9) Good night (5022) Bad night (927)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

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(540): I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them. http://tfl.nu/t9kz

Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (2787)
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(907): View more from Alaska

On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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(907): On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face http://tfl.nu/k6gh

Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (757)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..

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(609): i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you.. http://tfl.nu/9nik

Replies (11) Good night (1765) Bad night (1700)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l

Replies (11) Good night (1102) Bad night (1971)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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(402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em

Replies (16) Good night (2364) Bad night (690)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.

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(540): Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat. http://tfl.nu/hg85

Replies (4) Good night (2022) Bad night (532)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you

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(304): He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you http://tfl.nu/r4en

Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (1036)
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(650): View more from California

At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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(650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (300)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

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(570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac

Replies (4) Good night (281) Bad night (829)
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(845): View more from New York

I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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(845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86

Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (268)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.

(908): View more from New Jersey

This is why you are not allowed out in public.

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(732): seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian. (908): This is why you are not allowed out in public. http://tfl.nu/xlma

Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (287)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....

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(317): I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong.... http://tfl.nu/btjr

Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (257)

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