Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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  (804): I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five http://tfl.nu/co5b
  Replies (11) Good night (6635) Bad night (663)
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  (714): View more from California

  Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?

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  (714): Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix? http://tfl.nu/0vla
  Replies (153) Good night (3681) Bad night (1301)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago

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  (262): why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago http://tfl.nu/ks9q
  Replies (22) Good night (836) Bad night (3628)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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  (304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn
  Replies (10) Good night (824) Bad night (3405)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

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  (740): hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara http://tfl.nu/38gp
  Replies (14) Good night (824) Bad night (5402)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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  (414): no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good. http://tfl.nu/zhbu
  Replies (23) Good night (5851) Bad night (1247)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.

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  (734): I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather. http://tfl.nu/4j7n
  Replies (5) Good night (4501) Bad night (1106)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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  (347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9
  Replies (10) Good night (2644) Bad night (1011)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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  (402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l
  Replies (14) Good night (2670) Bad night (745)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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  (513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3
  Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (588) Bad night (1149)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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  (260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe
  Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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  (540): Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/u4dw
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.

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  (702): Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/accn
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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  (318): she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper http://tfl.nu/ei3r
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (391)

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