My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
