I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.