yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!