Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
