i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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