she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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