At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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