I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
