I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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