I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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