My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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