Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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