Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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